How to harass your servants with class
Rich Russians learning etiquette
I mentioned in my review of Nick McDonell’s book, Quiet Street: on American Privilege, that Russians in elite Moscow circles lack the noblesse oblige and etiquette that was drilled into Nick and his classmates at their elite prep school. In some ways the lack of noblesse oblige among Russia’s nouveau riche is more brutally honest. They’re not hiding their love of social hierarchies. But it can lead to scandals, like one that happened a decade ago after Maria Baibakova published a guide on how to treat your servants in Russia’s Tatler magazine.
Maria is an art matron and was the youngest member on the board of Barnard College and has been involved with a myriad of art institutions. She also runs her own nonprofit, Baibakov Art Projects. The New Yorker called her Peggy Guggenheim of Russia. Naturally, she didn’t come from nowhere. Her oligarch dad, Oleg Baibakov, is the one who’s been bankrolling her art world rise. He used to be on the board of directors of Norilsk Nickel — the largest producer of refined nickel in the world. The concern initially was developed during Stalin times with slave labour from the Gulags and was privatized in the 1990s through Yeltsin’s loans for shares scheme — essentially stolen from the public.
So what happened is that Maria wrote a long piece for the Russian edition of Tatler about the etiquette of managing one’s servants, which she learned at the Institut Villa Pierrefeu, a Swiss finishing school. She gave a very detailed and honest account on how she manages her household. I remember reading it when it came out and was shocked that it got published. Tatler is a glamorous magazine but inflaming class hatred in this direct and aggressive way seemed too careless even for them. The piece would be fitting as a personal letter from Maria to her girlfriends who want to learn the “civilized way” of running their mansions near Moscow. But it was clearly wrong for the eyes of the common people.
What did she recommend? Things like allowing only your son’s tutor to sit at your dinner table, so that the boy could respect him and thus learn better. But your daughter’s governess should not be allowed at the dinner table because respecting her is not that important. Other suggestions included not raising your voice while reprimanding your servants because they are not your equals and showing emotion is appropriate only with equals.